This blog entry is not an earth shattering epiphany, an enlightened quote, or a plea for reasoning. The only thing I can even think to write is to say...well..I'm happy. There's nothing quite like that feeling of not being yourself. It's so easy to get lost in other people's lives, caught up in your own busy one. I have struggled to find a wonderful and beautiful balance this year. Oh 2014. What a year you were. You saw the best of me, the worst of me, and the "me" I've struggled to become. And the "me" I finally am.
That being said, I'm not making any New Year's Resolutions. I never keep them, and they never work out for me. If you would call my quitting drinking a New Year's Resolution...well, I've already got a leg up on the Resolutions. I started my quest to give up drinking on Oct 26th. Christmas is coming up, and it will be exactly 60 days since I've quit drinking. I grow more nervous as the day approaches. And that is perfectly okay. It is normal to feel these feelings. Last night I wanted to go for a quick margarita. But...I used to go for a "quick" margarita, and one became two, two became three, and three became "fuck it, i'm already out." It's not easy, but I've come so far.
I used to not give myself a goal, and in the beginning, its what helped me out tremendously. "Don't drink today." That was it. But now, I have given myself an attainable goal. My goal is to not drink until my birthday. May 21st. That seems so far out. But I know I can do it! And who knows? I may even want to keep going and NOT drink on that day. Alls I know is, I want that free Mexican Martini from Trudy's. The way things are looking, I may just even give my birthday drink to my twin sissy, on account of us sharing the same birthday and all.
But I digress...
Anyhoo. I'm looking forward to what my life is going to be like in 2015. The people I will meet, the old friends I will become reacquainted with. The adventures I will have. 2014 wasn't too kind on me. If anything, 2014 has proven that I can bounce back rather nicely when the going gets tough. I'm not expecting smooth sailing here on out. But I am expecting myself to take everything in stride.
And the best part of 2015? STAR WARS! Even though I have to wait a whole year for it, I will dress up as Princess Leia. MARK MY WORDS! *angrily shakes fist*
c'est la vie :)
Jackie
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