Austin and Everything After

"I had all the characteristics  of a human being---flesh, blood, skin, hair--but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that my normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the vitcim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a ough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning..." "...there is an idea of Patrick Batemen, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hie my cold

"There's such a sad love, deep in your eyes. A kind of pale jewel, open and closed within your eyes. I'll place the sky within your eyes. There's such a fooled heart, beatin' so fast, in search of new dreams. A love that will last within your heart. I'll place the moon within your heart."--- As The World Falls Down. I don't know what it is about the past 30 days of my life, but I cannot get this song out of my head. And I'm perfectly ok with it. 

I wonder if any reads these?   A part of me loves the idea of a mystery, but my curious side is way too overwhelming. So I propose this: if you should ever find yourself reading this...send me a private message. Whatever media you choose. But this is what the message MUST say... "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep."

Even after all these years, this poem still makes my heart skip a beat. I am weary of the Garden,       Said the Rose; For the winter winds are sighing, All my playmates round me dying, And my leaves will soon be lying      'Neath the snows. But I hear my Mistress coming,     Said the Rose; She will take me to her chamber, Where the honeysuckles clamber, And I'll bloom there all December     Spite the snows. Sweeter fell her lily finger      Than the bee! Ah, how feebly I resisted, Smoothed my thorns, and e'en assisted As all blushing I was twisted      Off my tree. And she fixed me in her bosom      Like a star; And I flashed there all the morning, Jasmine, honeysuckle scorning, Parasites forever fawning     That they are. And when evening came she set me      In a vase. All of rare...

Has it really been this long since I've written to you? Goodness you must be wondering what life has been like for me the last six months. But where to start? New York, the Holidays, a Half-Marathon, making new friends, re-connecting with old ones, and banishing energy-suckers from my inner circle. It's very refreshing, I might add. I've taken some time to myself to focus on my health. It's not something that has (or could have had) happened overnight. This lifestyle change has taken the better part of a year, and in said year, I've lost 50 lbs. 50! That's a whole person! I've been very candid about my journey, in hopes of inspiring others. It hasn't been difficult, really, sharing this information. I've never been a shy person. But doctor's orders forced my hand into a lifestyle change. Funny, I don't know anything else now. I exercise at least 5 times a week, for about 30 minutes to an hour. My lifestyle change has reinvigorated m...